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What's your advice about talking to my pastor?

Submitted: 4/26/2007
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Question: I met a guy in the church over a year ago and we love each other and feel like we're ready to start dating and will soon be engaged. He attends a different church than me. We've talked about everything from health to finances and other situations that may arise. His pastor thinks it's a great thing and I feel like God led me to him. We've prayed, fasted, etc. I feel God will have us do a work together in His Kingdom. The problem is, I don't think my pastor is gonna like the idea of us dating and me trying out his church. But we love each other and I don't feel like we're out of the will of God. I don't know how to approach my pastor. What if he gives me advise not to? He knows we talk and how we feel about each other. I don't want him to think I'm rebellious. I love my pastor and know he's looking out for my soul.

Answer: Your question is full of contradictions. On the one hand you say that you are already convinced that this relationship is of God. But on the other hand you seem to be equally convinced that your pastor is probably opposed to your marital aspirations. You then say you know that your pastor is looking out for the well-being of your soul. It sounds as though you are only willing to let your pastor actually be your pastor when he agrees with whatever you have already decided. We cannot comment on whether this marriage is a good idea or not. We suggest that you make an appointment to speak to your pastor and that you share your heart with him openly and honestly. If he tells you that he opposes this marraige, ask him why. You should be able to ask him questions without being perceived as being rebellious. Maybe he knows some things that you have not even considered. At some point you have to trust your spiritual leaders. If you can't trust this man to guide you in this matter, how can you trust him to guide you into glory?